Dear Boss,
I regret to inform you that I am resigning from my position as a trucker, effective immediately. I know this may come as a shock to you, but I simply cannot work under these oppressive conditions any longer.
As you are aware, I have repeatedly been reprimanded for speeding and for getting into accidents. While I understand the importance of safety, I cannot continue to work in an environment that restricts my need for speed and my right to crash into things.
I became a trucker because I love the thrill of the open road, the wind in my hair, and the smell of diesel fuel in the morning. But your insistence on obeying traffic laws and avoiding collisions has made my job nothing more than a mundane and lifeless existence.
I long for the days when I could slam on the gas pedal and feel the rush of adrenaline as I barreled down the highway, ignoring speed limits and traffic signs. I miss the feeling of smashing through barriers and careening off the road into a ditch.
But alas, those days are no more. It is with a heavy heart that I bid you adieu, and I hope that one day you too will see the joys of reckless driving and destruction.
Sincerely,
Wreck-It Ralph Nado